Bad news. Went to clean the radiator and the copper fins between the tubes literally disintegrated. Damn again. This thing's only 7 years old. $1100 later, it's re-cored, put back together and 10 hours later installed and allegedly working. (Again, note the careful wording so as not to jinx the trip.)

So what happened?

(1) Country Coach had a design flaw. They never securely affixed the 4 " intake pipe to the CAC and vibration killed the kooler. A new bracket and 45 minutes of labor fixed that. Thanks Country Coach. Brilliant design! Brilliant!

(2) Radiator Specialties, who made the custom OEM radiator, either did shitty job or used inferior materials. Thanks Radiator Specialties. Also a brilliant design!

At any rate, it's done, it works (allegedly), it only took 2 weeks and I'm in my pre-vacation mode (again!)

All dressed up and nowhere to go (yet!)

Wed., Mar. 16 - " The caravan has arrived... "

Well, the 20 minutes turned into 6 hours. Got up at 4:30, made coffee and wondered why the furnace was running at about a 60% duty cycle. What's it going to do when it's really cold? Finally looked the the thermometer and found it was 11 ° . So much for that.

Cranked up some some tunes, Joan Jett, Billy Idol, etc. (Well, I had to wake up, didn't I?) Was planning on listening to the top 500 songs (yes that's right - 500) of 1958 but started listening to them while in Illinois and I became too maudlin. Besides that, some of the slower songs plus the beautiful Illinois scenery almost put me to sleep.

So what were the " highlights " today? Passed the 100th meridian. I'm now in the west, at least by my definition. Made it through the Great Nothing (Julesburg to Denver via I76.) The highlight of that segment was the sign in Fort Morgan stating that it was the boyhood home of Glenn Miller. Now that's boring - but still not as bad as Illinois.

Made it though 50 mph wind gusts and some snow in the Rockies and finally settled in at Goose Island, a favorite BLM campsite outside of Moab. Had a few beers, a great (if I do say so myself) marinated steak, baked potato and am now chilling and catching up on this drivel.

Thu., Mar. 17 - Happy St. Pat's

Today was a day to continue chilling. Awoke at 5:30 and, after the obligatory cup of coffee and sweet roll, went on a hike until the sun peaked over the hills to the east, about 8 AM. Awesome!

Later, while typing this in, the inverter shut down (running on batteries don'tcha know.) Low voltage! Say what? Turns out one of the house battery connections was considerably corroded. An hour later had that all repaired so headed to Canyonlands CG in Moab. On the way, spent $15 at a car wash rinsing most of Colorado off the motorhome and the DamJP.

Settled in. Met up with Gray Fox and scheduled a pre-run of Behind the Rocks tomorrow. Sealed the battery terminals with some spray shit from NAPA that's supposed to solve the corrosion problem. Major problem: forgot my wine (but not the 3 cases of beer) so had to go to the " Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control " store to get some wine. They freakin' carded me!! Welcome to the land before time.

Went back, had a couple beers and took a nap. Up now (obviously or else I'm sleep typing) and having a great time watching people pull into the campground, trying to situate their big rigs and doing really dumb things in the process. Priceless!

No plans for supper yet but they are having $2 pints of green beer at Moab Brewery and it would be a sin to pass up this marvelous St. Pattie's day opportunity.

Addendum: Charlie Manson and Pat Boone:
So I'm at the brewery having some green beer (since I've read somewhere it would be a sin not to) and having a lively conversation with some Native Americans. They leave. Sitting next to me is a guy that looks like Pat Boone, with his main squeeze, who lived in the California desert in his RV for an indeterminate amount of time and has now moved to Moab and lives in his RV here - also for an indeterminate amount of time. Per his own admission, the mountain bikes they sell here are worth more than his RV. Oh my! So while talking with " Pat, " Charlie Mansion (or his look-alike) sits down at the bar. Pat and Charlie's squeeze hit it off pretty well. " Charlie " is a musician and Pat's squeeze asked if he used drugs. Oh my! That led into a tirade on giving up drugs (perhaps just for Lent, I'm not sure.) Charlie asked Pat what he did for a living and Pat replied he was a narc*. Oh my. I was amused and immensely entertained. Charlie is playing at Woody's Saturday night. I may fend off the smoke and go there just to hear Charlie sing and pick is geetar. Enough fun for one night. Goodnight!

*Details of this entire conversation are available upon request.

Fri., Mar. 18 - Pre-run Behind the Rocks

Damn my internal clock. 5:30 and I'm awake. 4 hours until the pre-run. Time to do some reading.....done reading. Invited Gray Fox to join me and he invited some folks from Oklahoma and California to join our happy little group (but I won't hold that against him.)

Great day. 70 ° and sunny. Made it through High Dive and Upchuck obstacles (or " problems " as Gray Fox calls them!) Had lunch under Picture Frame Arch

....but this is not Picture Frame arch...

and successfully negotiated an appropriately named White Knuckle hill. (Click here for a photo of yours truly on White Knuckle a million years ago.) Gray Fox and the others elected to return at that point, about 2 PM, but no! Not me. I headed down Hunters (no apostrophe) Canyon and had a great time. It's a uniquely beautiful canyon. On the long trip back, stopped at the sand dunes and did some sand hill jumping. Fortunately nothing broke, including me. Observation: brakes do little good when all four wheels are in the air!

Back to Canyonlands for a quick shower. I feel gooood! Still watching people pull in. A pickup pulling a Jeep with a pop up camper attached to the Jeep just meandered by. More entertainment. A horribly dirty, I mean downright filthy, camper pulled in. Says I, " I bet you came through the Rockies! " Says he, " I came through the Steven King storm of the century! " Once again, for about 10 years in a row, missed a major storm by 1 day! My luck will run out someday - but today's not the day. HA!

Scheissen! Friggin' weather report is for rain Saturday, Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Sounds like the only two good days may be Monday and Tuesday. Sonuvabitch! Spring in Utah!

But right now I'm mellow, sipping on a Grant's Mandarin Hefeweizen left over from Washington last fall. I'm looking out the window at the gorgeous LaSal Mountains, capped with snow and the sun brilliantly shining on them as it sets in the west (as it usually does.) The MP3s are belching out 1962. Ah, all is well - I needed this!

The beginning of Golden Spike

The first part of the Spike is actually the Poison Spider Mesa trail. Rural legend has it that a 7 year old girl was bitten by a spider and died up here on High Speed Mesa. Not sure if it's the truth or not, but it makes a good story. Some asshole stole the grave marker last year so Gray Fox made a new headstone. While you can't see it in this photo, there's a heart up in the right hand corner with the initials GF. See why I like the people here?

Eagle's Dare. There's a railroad track down in Bootlegger's Canyon and Corona Arch is easily seen, but not from this photo.

Yours truly having the peanut gallery inspect the undercarriage for any scratches or dents.

Sat., Mar. 19 - An alleged free day! Golden Spike

While signing in for the event at 7 AM, my arm was twisted to hook up with Dave, Steve, Steve, and a " few " others who were doing the Golden Spike Trail. Got there just as they were ready to leave. What a great day! There were more trail officials (11) on this trail then registrants. We all knew each other so you can imagine how the day went. Many stories about unlocking hubs, bumping into the anatomical rear of Dave (another Dave) with my Jeep while Dave was relieving himself so on and so forth. Great fun.

Ran the optional Eagle's Dare option which is not always used but awesome. Weather was good, sun in the AM, clouds in the PM. (Trust me, you can get a helluva sunburn on a cloudy day. - DUH!)

Got back and Dieter stopped by to say hello. After consuming a Warsteiner, we elected to meet at McStiff's at 7:30 for some Jalapeno Beer and to catch up on a year's worth of BS. Now it becomes obvious why I needed to rest up. The rest of the week will be busy: Get up, wheel, eat, drink, go to bed. Simple, huh? Oh my, look at the time, it's 7:20. Goodbye!

Hic! Back again. Hic! Helluva time. Dieter and 5 of his friends from Liechtenstein were there and we had a great time. Tina and Jakob are camped right behind me. Small world! Good friends, good bier, and good food, in that exact order. Hic!

McStiff's has WiFi and Dieter has an internet equipped Palm Pilot so with great glee he brought up this web page. I liked Jakob's suggestion: email McStiff's and order us 100 beers!

Sun., Mar. 20 - Fins 'n' Things, Gunner
Happy Spring -or- Rain Rain Go Away......

7AM and preparing for the day. It's bad enough that it's raining (although they do need the rain) but the headache and cobwebs just add insult to injury. With the rain during the night and now, it's a good thing I put the top up on the DamJP last night before McStiff's - since I sure wouldn't have been able to do it afterwards .

Nothing exciting today. A hailstorm on the trail slowed us down a little but then the canyons came alive with waterfalls. It's an experience to see water flowing in the same dry canyons that I've been in during the summer when it's been over 100 ° and not a drop of water in sight.

Mon., Mar. 21 - Behind the Rocks, Leader
-or- Moab Madness Begins......

So the day started fine. 33 registered vehicles looking for a fine time, and a fine time they had! People from as far away as Switzerland, Liechtenstein, New Zealand and Minnesota. We were OK up until High Dive and Upchuck where the Minnesota crew broke a drag link and went back for repairs.

Then we were fine until Hummer Hill where Stefan, one of the Liechtensteiners ( see Saturday's photo ), went belly up. Oh my! I wasn't even there to see it as by that time I was leading the group down White Knuckle Hill.

To commemorate Stefan's accomplishment, I found a rock and ground down the top, found a toy Jeep, glued it to the top of the rock (rubber up, of course), engraved Stefan's license on it and shall present it to him tomorrow, with great fanfare!

Came back to a delightful sunset over the LaSals after a day of sunshine and some clouds, one of which dropped a single (yes only 1) hailstone on the seat of the DamJP. That was it. No complaints.

LaSals at sunset

Now rush back to Moab and make sure Stefan and his crew got back OK. They did. To relieve the pressure of the day, they elected to return to McStiff's. Good move. I then rushed to get the parts for Stefan's trophy (yeah, it's getting late), assembled the trophy and then sped out to Pack Creek Campground to see Clint & Co. Couldn't stay or have a beer since I then had to speed to Spanish Trail Arena for the annual RR4W safety meeting.

After the obligatory meeting, sped back to Clint & Co's. campsite, pounded down some beer, was introduced to the twins, and had the best shrimp, sausage and potato boil in a couple years - in fact, not since the last time I was with Clint & Co. in the Wyoming Snowies a few years ago.

Clint & Co. brought back about 20 lbs of shrimp from Mexico and cooked it up and with spices, potatoes, sausage, onions, spices etc. Outstanding. No - better than that. It was fine and dandy!

So the Moab Madness has finally begun. There's no time to chill, no time to rest. I can do that when I'm dead or back at work, whichever comes first! Perhaps they are the same, I just don't know. I'm finally in my " full Dave vacation mode! "

YESSSSSS!

Clint & Co. Blurry, but given the circumstances, I think it's pretty darn good!

Tue., Mar. 22 - Steel Bender

A good day wheelin'. Met up with Clint & Co. and had a great time on the trail. Steve broke an axle but was able to make it out under his own power. Others, not in our group, were not so lucky.

The day started sunny and wound up cloudy. By 4 PM I had the top up. Came back to the motorhome and found the Liechtenstein crew next door at Jakob and Tina's. That was an excellent opportunity to present Stefan with his trophy, much everyone's joy.

We discussed the plans for tomorrow and Dieter and his crew will join Clint and Co. on a trip to the Golden Spike with a side trip to Eagle's Dare. This could be interesting with the rain that's predicted and the fact that I can't remember all of the trail. This will prove to be interesting.

After a couple beers with Dieter and friends, Dallas, (Clint's Dad) stopped by to pick me up for the Moab Brewery. I was going to get some photos there but was having way too much fun and laughing too hard. Most of what the 8 of us were laughing about can't be printed, but on a scale of 1 to 10 this evening's dinner and " conversation " rated at least an 8.5! So back at the motorhome now, trying to type this in and getting ready for the morrow.

Wed., Mar. 23 - Flat Iron Mesa The Golden Spike
-or- deja vu again and again..........

You can tell this was a good day - more photos for this run than any of the others. We got started at 7:30 (yes, AM!) and much to my surprise the boyz from Omaha were there on time. ( Last year for Pritchett Canyon we had a late start and paid the price....) It's a good thing we started early since this turned out to be just shy of an 11 hour trip!

The weather was partly sunny, chilly, but very windy. By the time we got to High Speed Mesa it had clouded over. After a trip to the top of a slickrock dome called Skyline Drive, we headed into the unknown - the back route to Eagle's Dare. It got really dark in the southwest and started to rain.

I'd been on this route before and wasn't sure where we went after the narrows. Dieter and I walked about 1/2 mile ahead to scout the trail as this route is seldom used and there are few tire marks. We found a flat spot at the top of a dome so I led them off into the unknown (the blind leading the blind as it were.)

Tim and Clint had a little difficulty with their Cherokees while traversing the narrows. They both mangled their taillight assemblies and a little sheet metal. Moab souvenirs.

From there we made it to the top in the rain. We were one fin off and finally found a route and made it around the fin to the Eagle's Dare point where Clint fired up his charcoal grill (in the back of the Cherokee since it was windy and raining) and we had delicious trail burgers. By the the time we finished, the first of several storms had passed and the sun was out in full force.

Someone (who shall remain nameless) suggested we strap ourselves down to a ledge about 30 feet below the rim of 500' deep Bootlegger Canyon so we could get a better view of Corona Arch and the tunnel where the railroad goes through the mesa. This was met with some skepticism but worked much better than we thought, even though out of the 16 of us only 4 went on the journey.

The next adventure was a high slickrock dome that got everyone's attention. After negotiating the down side of the dome, the observation was made that flavored seat covers might be a good seller, especially on this trail (pucker factor don'tcha know.)

We got back on the trail, went through another rainstorm, saw some great views and made it to the Golden Crack by 2:30. A small trail repair was in order and while that was being fixed we were delightfully entertained by several groups of " people " trying to negotiate the Crack without a clue on how to do it. The highlight was when some dude on a motorcycle fell in and it took 5 people to extricate the bike and the rider. Awesome show of stupidity. Entirely too much fun.

Only three of the five helpers needed now that it's out.

After the repair we got going and made it through most of the trail only to get hung up on a little obstacle pretty much at the end of the trail. After strapping a Jeep (not from OUR group) that was blocking the trail we thought we could get the hell of out there until one of our group got a little off the line. It took Clint pulling one way and 6 guys on a tow strap manually pulling in another direction to get him out.

I got back at 6:30, showered and drove back to the Bar M or whatever it's called for the Red Rock Associate's dinner. Got back at 10 PM and was asleep by 10:01!

What a great great day. A 9.78 (approximately.)

Thu., Mar. 24 - Pre-run Wipe Out Hill

Up and at 'em. 9 AM on the road. A funny thing happened on the way to the forum trail head. I'd given Clint & Co. a description of the train that runs to the potash plant once a week on Fridays. Just as I'm barreling over the track, not looking either direction, Dallas lets out with a diesel train whistle on the CB (from a synthesizer) and it scared the shit out of me. Score: Dallas 1, Dave 0.

After my heart rate returned to normal, we blasted through Bartlett Wash, traversed Tusher Tunnel, wandered Wipe Out Hill and surrounding countryside with Clint & Co. The pre-run went well as I would have taken the official group tomorrow on several of Dave's " scenic tours " instead of the official trail.

We played on a side hill near Wipe-Out that we all agreed had the highest pucker factor of the trip. Once done playing, we had a great lunch and then headed back to Moab. My transfer case is overheating so need to look at that.

Jeff, a friend from back home, is going to join me for the rest of the trip. He's taking the train from Illinois to to Green River. I didn't want to mention this earlier as I feared it would jinx the trip but the train is now at Grand Junction or thereabouts. I'll be borrowing Clint's Dodge RAM diesel to run to Green River in a few moments and retrieve Jeff from the train station. We then need to get back, get Jeff settled in and have a beer or two - oops, wrong sequence, have a beer or two and THEN get Jeff settled in. We'll then find Clint & Co. where I " volunteered " Jeff to buy the beer for the Green River-Moab Transit Company.

9 PM footnote: Plan executed flawlessly!

Tim crawling up

Clint's Diner again!

Jeff on his way to Green River as he passes through Thompson, about 20 miles east of Green River

Fri., Mar. 25 - Wipe Out Hill, Leader

We started the day with rain. We ended the day with a snowstorm that shut down Utah 191 south of town, the only route in and out of Moab going south.

Wipe Out Hill trail was great. What a good group of 53 rigs on the trail! We made it through most of the trail then it stated to thunder, hail, and snow. One little hill turned to snot and it took hours to get people through but they were troopers and everyone eventually made it. We got to Wipe Out Hill and the sun came out. Everyone made it down, no problem. Jeff kept himself busy with his new camera and took about 100 photos which was good since I was busy spotting folks down the hill.

We got back and made it to Spanish Trail Arena for the vendor show about 4 PM with the sun still out. After an hour there we came down the hill to the motorhome. There was a helluva black cloud heading into Moab valley. It started raining like the devil with high winds. It rained - and rained - and rained. About 6:30 we went to Zak's for pizza and beer. By 7:30 we were out of there and the rain was turning to snow. So, the dynamic duo elected to go south of town, up the hill, towards the arena. About halfway there we elected to turn around as it was snowing really heavy and we could see very little. We wisely came back to the motorhome.

So - we turned on the scanner to hear what was happening. Moab weather radio was off the air. That's interesting. Let's check the Weather Channel on Moab's cable. Gee, the cable is out. That's interesting. Switched to satellite for the evening. Decided to listen to the police channels on the scanner and that provided entertainment for the rest of the evening. About a mile south of where we turned around there was a pileup of a number of cars and trucks and at least 100-200 other vehicles stalled in a helluva snow storm. They then closed 191. And did I mention that this was the night of the big raffle drawing up at the Arena and there are perhaps 500 or more vehicles up there that will be ready to head back to Moab soon?

Some of the more memorable quotes overheard---

Sure glad we didn't go to the Arena tonight for the drawing. It turns out this was much ado about nothing (of course I can say that since we weren't stuck on the highway.) It seems that within a few hours they finally got some snowplows south of town and got the road open again. All was finally well with the world - and Highway 191.

So now the question is: with all this rain what are the trails going to be like tomorrow? I got pressed into service for Kane Creek trail, normally a delightful trail that crosses the creek 60 times. With all this rain and snow, there may be more water flowing through Kane Creek than in the Colorado River. Tomorrow will be another adventure, I'm, sure. Jeff's visit was appropriately timed.

Sat., Mar. 26 - drafted to gun on Kane Creek and updates on Clint's adventure

6AM, McDonald's getting coffee and breakfast: Talked with some locals. According to them they got 11+ " of snow last night up the hill and a major portion of the area south of town is still without electricity. People in LaSal had 2' snowdrifts at their house. There's a couple inches of snow downtown. This is very unusual for the high desert environment that we are in. People are leaving in droves - but not us - we're tough! Welcome to spring in Utah.

So this is " Big Saturday, " the climax of Easter Jeep Safari week. All 28 trails are run and 1500+ vehicles line up on various streets in Moab. The police block off the town and at 9 AM the various groups leave for their trails. It's very well choreographed and within 20 minutes all the vehicles are gone and Moab is quiet for 6 or 7 hours.

At the Kane Creek trail lineup there was the usual array of stock Jeeps, well built Jeeps, a Sammi and lo and behold - 2 Dodge Durangos and a Jeep Liberty! We tried to talk them out of going on this moderately difficult trail but oh no, they were bound and determined to take their tribes of 6-7 people in each of the rental Durangos on the trail!

The first entertainment came when we were less than 1/2 mile out of town and the first Durango ran out of gas. DUH! Unfortunately they were able to get back to town, get fuel and rejoin us at the trailhead. It was then and there we decided they get the " stupid of the day " award.

The 2 rentals and their tribe proved to be great entertainment at first. The second rental Durango went charging through a mud puddle and Jeff noticed something hanging down underneath. We finally got them stopped (as they had no CB radio) and found they broke off part of the plastic bumper. Spare parts. Toss it in the back and move along.

The entertainment turned to boredom very quickly as they struggled over almost every minor obstacle. Since they had no radios you can imagine the comments made over the radio by the rest of the group. People were not too happy - we were now 2 hours behind time due to them.

Then the most fortunate event occurred. 5 miles into the trail (about half way through) they hammered up an obstacle as they had done for the past 4 hours and they stopped. What makes it even better is that they took a wrong turn and were in a part of the trail that is no longer used because it is too difficult.

Now the mental giants in Detroit that designed the Durangos placed the bottom of the radiator very low on the Durangos. (You can see where this is going already!) As our entertainment committee hit the sand in the place they shouldn't have been anyway, the sand hit the bottom of the radiator and tore it right out of the plastic mounts that hold the plastic radiator to the plastic frame. The plastic tank on the bottom tore loose from the core. By the time I got there, they were adding water from Kane Creek to the radiator.

Now remember, it rained and snowed the night before. Kane Creek is up a lot, but passable. However it's red with mud and sand and in some places the consistency and the color of tomato soup. The Durango tribe is gathering this mix of water and whatever and pouring it in the radiator of the rental Durango. They fail to notice as fast as they pour it in, it was coming right back out the bottom, but perhaps slightly filtered. Oh my.

They didn't like our suggestion to leave the vehicle there and call the rental company and tell them they had a minor problem. They elected, instead, to drive the damn thing back, pouring muddy water into the radiator every 60 seconds or so. The other Durango, a Cherokee, and the Liberty, all part of their tribe, returned with them. The women in the group were less than happy. The men claimed they were handling the situation and the teenagers thought it was cool. I can only imagine the words on the way back!

Oh, did I mention that about the same time the Durango driver completed the stress test of the radiator mounts, the Liberty in their group blasted up a sand hill, off camber to the driver's side, with the driver's side window open? Did I mention they got some sand in through the open window? Did I mention I had to winch them out using something other than a tow point (which shall remain unidentified!) as they don't have tow points on these toys. Made the Sammi look good.

Once the folks with " special needs " (as our tail gunner described them) left, we were finally able to move along, 3 hours late. Finally, 8 PM we got everyone out of the trail.

We promptly headed to Moab Brewery and were delighted to find Clint & Co. there. The story below was appropriately documented over many, many pitchers of beer. (Hey, Clint had a bad day and I had a stressful day with the Kane Creek crew. Sometimes shit just happens.) The beer was outstanding and went down fast - too fast. Jeff had the common sense to come back to the motorhome but, no, not me! I somehow headed to McStiff's to say goodbye to Dieter and friends who were doing their best to support Moab's brewing economy. Hours later I apparently made it back to the motorhome, as I'm here typing this, but it wasn't pretty - but I was told it was fun.

1. Steve: Axle U-joint and a clutch master cylinder on Steel Bender.
2. At their tent camp: The wind grabbed the first of three large canopies, sailed it across their site and deposited it on someone else's Jeep next door. Canopy trashed.
3. Tim and Clint: They both broke their tail lights and rearranged some sheet metal on Eagle's Dare.
4. Rob: Axle U-joint on the Golden Crack as yours truly spotted him on a perfect line - almost!
5. Rob: A mangled ring finger as he was replacing the U-joint. A few days later they had to take a pair of dikes and cut Rob's ring off his finger because of the swelling. That's going to go over well back home now, isn't it?
6. Tim: Spit out his axle shims on Metal Masher. Yes, you can do that, he convinced me.
7. Steve: Readjusted his tailgate on Metal Masher. Not sure how, not sure why, but at least he helped the trail live up to its heritage.
8. Jim: Also on Metal Masher, wrapped his tailpipe around his rear wheel. Huh? What? You're kidding? Now this is a good trick and I'm awaiting instructions on how to repeat this magnificent accomplishment.
9. At their tent camp: Not sure when, but the second canopy succumbed to the wind and had to be humanely put to sleep.
10. At their tent camp (again): During the aforementioned snowstorm, their remaining canopy collapsed under the weight of 4 " of snow and, I'm sad to report, the twins drowned in the snow. (How can you drown in snow?) At any rate, the twins are gone - they've gone to that great wet, mushy cardboard heaven in the sky.
11. Clint: On Hell's Revenge, in a tub of ill repute, he broke a bead while climbing out and put his Cherokee on the side in 3 feet of oily, cold, wet (very wet) water. Stories will be told for generations of the extrication of the vehicle from the 20' deep hole in the slickrock and Clint's attempts to wander aimlessly through the cold, oily, wet water in the bottom trying to retrieve certain items from the Cherokee that has fallen in the water. It's reported the charcoal grill is OK. I guess he doesn't have to worry about the smell of trail burgers in the upholstery anymore. Tim: I need photos!
12. Steve: In the process of winching Clint, Steve broke a U-joint and axle shaft.

This trip will go down in history for us. Here's the carnage totals: Sunday Night: 1) Camp is established and dedicated to the twins using Mezcal. Good for us, carnage for the neighbors. Monday, Cliff Hanger Safari Run: 1) I told the Safari group that Oklahoman's are stranger then aliens. Then I was informed that the trail leader is from Oklahoma. This was the " foot in the mouth " type of carnage. Tuesday, Steel Bender Safari Run: 1) Steve broke a front u-joint which then took out both inner and outer axle shafts. Like the true man he is, he drove the rest of the trail on three wheel drive. Wednesday, Golden Spike/Eagle's Dare: 1) I knocked out a tail light going through the grove at the beginning of Eagle's Dare. In the history of Lange's tail lights, this is number 4. I just glue them back together. The Liechtensteiner's said the groove was as skinny as a " mosquito's dick " . After Clint's banana comment I refrained from informing our German friends that the American version of " mosquito dick " refers to something else...... 2) Clint takes out the same tail light on the same rock. He's got the Lange's tail light curse now. 3) Dallas scrapes up a fender flare on the same rock. 4) Rob breaks a u-joint at the Golden Crack, u-joint takes outer axle shaft with it. Rob also injures his ring finger. Clint had to cut off the ring. Had Rob decided to save the ring and cut off the finger, he could have had a permanent " shocker " sign. 5) Came back to camp to find our two canopies ruined from the 50 MPH wind. The twins survived! Thursday, Wipeout Hill: 1) Gary ruins a perfectly good undergarment and places a permanent crease on my seat cover while we traversed the upper top part of that off-camber SOB next to Wipeout Hill. Wipeout Hill was a highway cruise after that off-camber SOB. I still can't identify the funny odor in my Jeep. 2) Later that night I knocked out the other tail light with the hi lift jack while straightening a cocked overload leaf. Friday, Metal Masher: 1) Steve catches his spare tire on the ground while climbing a sharp incline. Bends tailgate and tailgate hinge. 2) Jim runs over his own tail pipe backing down the same incline. I told him on the way home Sunday night that running over your own tail pipe is like stepping on your own " manhood " . 3) The pride of the Flatlanders as a group took some carnage when all of us needed a strap for Widow Maker Hill. Dallas being the smart one of the bunch (at " that " moment), took the by pass and shows up at the top of Widow Maker like a Knight in shining armor with strap in hand thereby saving our posteriors. 4) I spit out an axle degree shim, somewhere. I did not break any tail lights during this repair that night. 5) Later that night, 4 " of wet heavy snow smashes our third canopy. The twins couldn't take it anymore, they melted. It was a sad, sad morning. Saturday, Hell's Revenge: 1) Clint say's " Hold my Beer " as a figure of speech while he plunges into one of the tubs on Hell's Revenge (by the way, THERE WAS NO DRINKING INVOLVED). The effort to climb out resulted in Clint tumbling his Jeep over. It ends up pointing the opposite direction laying on it's right side. After it was righted, Clint's jeep started right up and he drove it out. Very little damage, considering the tumble. I have it on tape for prosperity reasons. Click here for the 2.5 MB video - it's worth it! 2) Steve breaks the other front u-joint and outer axle shaft during Clint's extraction out of the tub. The gathering audience got to see the " dark side " of Steve and I during the heat of the following moments. Once again proving how much of a true Jeeper he is, Steve drives out on three wheel drive. My deepest appreciation goes to the person who jumped right in to check on Clint's health status (no " physical " injuries) and provided the third winch for the extraction effort. Also, check out this article about that incident last year involving the Greenies and the fence post. Last but not least, let me express my deepest appreciation for you in leading trails for us and providing great company in general. Tim

Clint and Co.: Thanks for making my misadventures of this year and others seem trivial. The consensus (of 2) is that you were the most entertaining group from Nebraska at this year's Easter Jeep Safari. Congratulations.

Sun., Mar. 27 - Happy Easter - A day of sightseeing.

Ahhh, the sun is shining and the temperature will top 70 ° today. We went up to the beginning of Behind the Rocks and got some photos of the desert snow.

After my head stopped throbbing and I was again among the living, we went to Arches see what else but - the Arches.

Delicate Arch

From there we took a drive to Onion Creek and got some great late afternoon photos. We got back in time to cook steaks and pork chops on the grill. A little later Dieter and his crew stopped by for a couple beers. Dieter had a bunch of photos from Eagle's Dare on his Palm Pilot and was showing us. Then Jeff brought his new laptop out to the picnic table and proceeded to show them the photos he took today. Gawd, I love these low-tech Jeeping trips.

Mon., Mar. 28 - A day of sightseeing - II

Nothing exciting planned today, just a few scenic trips. I've come down with a really bad cold. It's a cloudy day again but not a very high chance of rain. So we decided to take the Potash Road, go up Shaeffer Trail, stop at Dead Horse Point, come back through Pucker Pass and Long Canyon. Jeff has this new camera and has taken most of the photos since he arrived. He discovered a way to stitch two or three of them together for panoramas. It was hard to decide which one to use. We can't use many due to the file size, so we selected this one: Shaeffer trail climbing 1500' to the top of Island in the Sky.

Dead Horse Point - even with clouds this is one of my all time favorite places. I have no words to describe it.

So we get back to town and I do the obligatory shopping. Get my 4 free T-shirts (the " pay " for leading and helping out), buy some souvenirs, get my hair cut at Pete & Co. (which I do each year) and head back. I forgot - it was Jeff's birthday so Jeeped down to McStiff's and got 4 bottles of Lime Wheat beer and then Isabella's and bought Jeff back a P & BO pizza. " Happy birthday, dude! "

I wanted to attend the club's debriefing meeting Monday night. Turns out our Kane Creek trail was the last one finished on Big Saturday and seemed to have the most entertainment. Duh! It's a good thing I went - won $100 gift certificate from J. C. Whitney.

Said my good-byes to the friends I've known for years, went back and plopped my sick ass in Jacob's motorhome to have a final beer with Dieter & Co. Said goodbye to them and sadly returned to the motor home knowing it will may be a year before I have any fun again. Poor Dave!

Tue., Mar. 29 - Albuquerque or bust! (approx. 346 miles)

On the road at 8 AM. Based on the crappy weather forecast, we decided to head straight to Albuquerque and (wisely!) avoid the San Juans. Got 70 miles out and drove into a reasonably bad snowstorm. It was OK driving but others weren't so lucky. The first accident was really bad. The second one was a 4WD vehicle in the ditch (why the hell didn't they drive out???) The last one was a Honda Element belly up in a ditch. And yes, they look as bad upside down as they do right side up.

We got to Farmington and had to wash the motorhome. The road sand they use was so bad we could not see out of the side windows. After a quick lunch we headed out in the middle of little snowstorms here and there, but nothing like we had seen earlier. Strange storms here: 42 ° , sunshine and snow. Welcome to New Mexico.

I'm was (and still am) feeling so shitty that I pulled over at the Tee-Pee rest area. This rest area is right next to an inflatable casino. Yup. Honest! What can I say? Unfortunately we were both tired and neither one of us got a photo.

We arrived in Albuquerque early and drove west, up the hill to a nice campground and here we are. I had no appetite so Jeff was willing to toss a pizza in for the evening. I'm drinking Ginger Ale and will turn in once this is complete (about 8PM). How sad.

Did I mention Sprint sucks? Great service in Albuquerque but 1/2 mile from an antenna farm zip, zilch, zero. ARG. Will upload this tomorrow AM when I hope to do better than today. We have so much to see (like the rattlesnake museum) and so little time........

Wed., Mar. 30 - Touristy Stuff

Today was great. Toured a couple wineries and Jeff bought " several " bottles of wine. Too bad I can't taste anything yet! (Bad for me, good for Jeff and his wine.) After that we headed to Old Town for lunch. I couldn't even taste the margarita. Damn. Might as well ordered a imported PBR.

The Rattlesnake museum was " different. " I thought if you've seen one rattlesnake you've seen 'em all but they had probably a hundred different rattlesnakes. The highlight was the selection of Far Side cartoons featuring snakes.

Next was the National Atomic Museum. Fascinating exhibits but I relished in the trivia. For example, in Nazi Germany, for a while their development of the atomic bomb was under control of the Post Office of all things (could have given a new meaning to " going postal. " ) How about the " Radium Girls? " In the 1920s women painted radium on watch dials so they would glow in the dark. They would wet the brushes with their mouth. Their teeth and handkerchiefs would glow in the dark. Apparently they were popular with guys. Or, during WWII, 14,000 tons of pure silver from the U.S.Mint were used to build magnets in Oak Ridge for uranium separation due to the lack of copper. Or, the 2 pounds of Plutonium used in the Trinity test were delivered to the site in the back seat of a 1942 Plymouth. And the list goes on and on and on. Fascinating.

After wearing out our welcome at the Museum, we elected to head up to 10,623 foot Sandia Peak and 8-10' feet of snow. For a while, 4WD was needed. We were rewarded with an outstanding views. No hiking today, however. At the top there were 15-20 major transmitting antennas for TV, radio, etc. The wind was blowing chunks of snow off them on to the Jeep. That was interesting.

On the 35 mile trip back we were buffeted with 50 mph winds in several places.

On return, we decided to go to a microbrewery that was highly recommended. 2 glasses of beer, a 10 beer sampler, a growler of Stout and 2 meals = $30. Life is good in Albuquerque. I still had no taste. Might as well have ordered a PBR. Damn.

Headed back to the caravan and started to work on the photos and this page for the day but it ain't gonna happen.

Up at 6 AM (yuch!) and finished this morning instead. We now head for Carrizozo for three days of wheelin' in the desert, going to White Sands, touring the Trinity site and visiting with Tom and Jane. There may not be any kind of internet service until Sunday or so (but you never know!) so check back later. We all may be surprised.

Thu., Mar. 31 - A Good Day Spent With Good Friends

6AM, awake and (obviously) can't sleep. So let's move on. Down the hill to the Flying J and a classic cluster. Pulled into a fueling stall and some idiot pulls in right in front of me with his RV and wants to pull ahead into my fueling stall when I move out. But he pulled in ahead of me. How can I move forward? What a moron. Next someone pulls in next to him with his RV on the right side and now this other moron can't move off to the right. Then someone pulls in (with his RV of course) behind him and prevents people from leaving the Flying J. Then someone pulls in with a motor home behind him and holds up all the other motorhomes behind him as well as about 5-18 wheelers that want into the truck stalls (where, of course, all these other old farts could have gone - but OH NO - this lane says RVs so by gawd this is where they have to go even though they are now stacked 8 deep.) DUH! There's room for everyone without blocking all the entrance and exits, but they are all helpless. They are also very old and people with more money that they deserve. GAWD, I hope I never get that old! Jeeeeesus! I hollered at 3 of them to " move your f******g rigs " and got them to break the gridlock long enough for us to escape. After that they gridlocked again and as dumb as they are they're probably all their staring at each other wondering what to do! GAWD, I hope I never get that old! Ahhh, take a deep breath Dave and tell yourself that you couldn't pay enough money for this kind of entertainment from the bottom of the gene pool. Ahhhh, I feel so much better now. Jeff says this is way to stupid to describe in words. We need a diagram!

From there we motored dieseled on down to Soccorro and then on NM380 to Valley of the Fires BLM CG. What a nice place with 9+ scenery. We shall plop our tires here for 3 days (+/- 1).

Drive into the metropolis of Carrizozo, through the burbs, and then out to Tom and Jane's motorhome somewhere off NM 54. Unfortunately I forgot where. Oh well, we'll find them. Yup, we found them. (We worked for Tom many years ago and Tom and Jane were prominent Turkeys.) We hadn't seen them for many years so this was a real treat. So we spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening catching up on old times and laughing our asses off. I spent the time drinking wine that I couldn't taste (for effect only.) Jane gave me some pills to dry up my sinuses and - OH MY - do I feel good. Even made it back the 24 miles to the caravan. What great time and what time well spent. This was delightful, absolutely delightful.

Life is good.

Fri., Apr. 1 - " There's no fool like an April fool "

7 AM and we're out hiking in the El Malpais lava field of Valley of the Fires BLM site where we decided to stay tonight and tomorrow night. The early morning hike was chilly, but really nice. This relatively new (within the last several thousand years) lava flow is about 5 miles wide by 44 miles long. It was a little too cold for the tarantulas to come out yet but it was still a nice hike.

By 9 AM we were in the DamJP heading for " Alamo. " The first stop was a pistachio ranch where we significantly helped the local economy. The hot red chili pepper pistachios were especially good but the pistachio blush wine left more than a little to be desired so we elected so take our pistachios and move.

Little time was spent in Alamo as we were on our way to the White Sands National Monument. The day was chilly but warming quickly. After I was told by the crabby ranger lady that " You can't 4 wheel here, " I had a hell of a time keeping the DamJP on two wheels. After following a load of Germans (from the German Air Force, Luftwaffe, whatever) we parked the DamJP and hiked to the top of a dune.

After hiking the dune, we started back. We found the trailhead for the Alkali trail and Jeff wanted to hike it for a ways. Fine with me. I got a 30 minute nap - still worn out from the cold. Back through Alamo and stopped to get a number of packs of local beer at Walgreens. Why not?

Next took a very scenic drive to Tom and Jane's via La Luz, a neat little town right next to Labrocita Canyon. As we headed up the highway, I found way to enter into the Canyon. My mouth was watering, my hands were sweaty, my heart was racing - here was an opportunity to slam 'er into 4WD and proceed where no man has gone before! Hot damn! But alas! We stopped at Walgreens, remember? Well, we got a 12 pack of beer that was not packed well. (I guess that's a 12 of beer.) They were rattling all around and sounded (really sounded) like they would break - and they way I wheel they certainly would have! Now I didn't care if they spilled all over the DamJP or my tool box underneath them, but I sure as hell didn't want to waste any beer so I sadly looked at the Canyon, deeply sighed, wiped the tears from my eye (I still have a cold) and promised myself that someday " I'll be baaack. "

From there we had a marvie visit with Tom and Jane. They liquored and fed us. By about 6 PM we sadly started on the 70 mile journey back to the coach. After unpacking the day's booty, Jeff download the 200 photos he took today to his laptop and my PC and here we are, drinking lime beer, eating lemon and lime pistachios (it's a theme don'tcha know) and finishing this babble for the day. Very early tomorrow we leave for ground zero.

7AM in Valley of the Fires

Trying to stay on 2 wheels

The infamous Jeff
 
Tom at home               Saying goodbyes

Sat., Apr. 2 - Ground Zero, Trinity Site and Speed Goats

Up at 5:30 AM and soon on the road to the Trinity Site. Got there about 7:15 and there were maybe 20 ahead of us. By the time the MPs opened the gates at 8, there were over 150 cars in line and by the time we left the site, I asked the guard how many were there and between both entrances there were over 1000 vehicles, about a dozen buses and even 3-4 motorhomes. We got in early, saw everything, and got out just as the masses arrived. Whew!

What a fascinating place. We stood at ground zero - a place that changed the course of world history. Incredible.

There were MPs all over the place, exhibits, tours of the McDonald Ranch (operations HQ), but the best were the two old guys that gave a 20 minute description of what it was like back then and some of the strange things that happened as they were preparing " the gadget " for detonation. This visit was a 9.9 on a scale of 10 ( " and there ain't no 10s. " )

We came in the north gate, unescorted. Those who came in the south gate (Alamogordo), had an 85 mile drive with 167 vehicles in the group. No thank you!

So after we got out, about 11, we went to Soccorro, fueled up, ate, and then headed out on a BLM backcountry byway. I was bitching and moaning about not doing any more wheeling and how happy I'd be if just once once I could go in 4WD and would be even happier if I need one or more lockers.

So as we started the drive, I spied an arroyo that was calling my name. We drove about 1/2 mile in 2WD and then I spied a hill that was calling my name. We climbed it great in 2WD. However, we HAD to go down the other side, which was was very steep and sandy - dry sand! After turning around and attempting to head back up, we found we couldn't do it in 2WD. Oh darn, I'll need 4WD. Gee, that didn't work either. We'll air down and take the top off. What a difference. With the top off we climbed to the top, no problem. I was now happy and content (or as happy and content as I'll ever be while still working for a living.)

The rest of the backway was very, very scenic but could have been driven in a Saturn. After we finished the byway, we stopped at a place that advertised Trinitite but when I saw thy wanted $30/gram, I may have made a comment or two and we left (without the Trinitite!)

Rather than take the asphalt back, I spied a gravel road and we came back to Carrizozo via Iron Mine Ridge Road. Even though it was 2WD, the drive was outstanding. We went past some old diggings in the mountains, a cattle drive, critters, and still made it back to Carrizozo for fuel by 4 PM. From there we headed back to camp, drank beer and ate pistachios while Jeff cooked some steaks, potatoes and onions. We also sadly selected the route back home.

So I watched the sun go down while Jeff was making some phone calls - and I didn't get a damn photo! But it was awesome. The fluorescent blue sky of the day faded in the east as a few wisps of clouds appeared in the west near sunset. The brilliant blue faded to a dark blue and the wisps turned reddish brown and then darker gray. While that was going on, the show was starting in the East. Venus appeared over the silhouettes of the mountains. Then a star. Then another. Back in the west the colors faded to dark blue and dark reddish brown. The wisps became darker and night descended. Looking back to the East one could now see the lights of Carrizozo in the valley and the green and white rotating beacon of Carrizozo International. The Big Dipper became visible as did a satellite. Then the Milky Way. Only saw one shooting star.

What an excellent end to a most excellent day!

Sun., Apr. 3 - Roswell - Delightfully tacky and Clovis, a chance meeting with one of the backup singers for Buddy Holly!

On the road - early. Dieseled to Roswell and found the International UFO Museum to be open already. It was " interesting " and I'm convinced aliens did land here as in Roswell we saw some people who must certainly have some alien DNA!

The museum was fun, full of strange stuff and full of stranger people. Not being " believers " and after getting " the look " from some of the patrons as I made a few comments about some of the claims, I suspect we were viewed as infidels. But it was still fun. They have a UFO festival there once a year and it would be a hoot to visit Roswell then. It would make this visit pale by comparison.

But the highlight of the day trip was yet to come.

We'd planned on making a pilgrimage and driving by the Norman Petty studios in Clovis where Buddy Holly, Roy Orbison, the Fireballs and others recorded in the late 50s. We drove by. It looked closed. We parked the motorhome next door and I walked over and asked the person inside the fence if the building was open. " No, you need an appointment. " " Oh. " " Where are you from? " " Illinois. " " That's a long way, if you'd like I could open it up and give you a tour. " " WOW, yes! " Jeff was in the motorhome. I motioned to him to come over and for the next two hours we got a tour of the studio and some most excellent stories from one of the singers that was back up for Buddy Holly and Roy Orbison. WOW! All this from just a chance meeting and simple question.

There was so much information and so many great photos that Jeff took, that I've put them on a separate set of pages, here . This, then, is just a very short summary.

Dave Bigham, who gave us the red carpet tour, was a singer for the Roses, one of the back up groups used for Buddy Holly. The Crickets are the most well known back up but on It's So Easy, Think It Over, and a few others, the Roses were the backup group. Dave joked they were the Jordanaires of West Texas (the Jordanaires were Elvis's back up group.)

We listened to Buddy Holly (It's So Easy) from one of the master tapes on a 60 year old Ampex mono deck. We saw the Celesta that was used for the " ding, ding, ding " sound on Everyday and heard the story of how Jerry Allison was slapping his knees (in the hallway of the studio) for the " slap, slap, slap " sound on the the same song. Fascinating - but I've said that before! More than fascinating - how's that!

We saw the microphone that Buddy Holly used. We got to touch the microphone that Buddy Holly used. We heard so many stories of what went on behind the scenes during the recording sessions and how some of the unique sounds were achieved. Two hours later our heads were spinning.

It's so great that this piece of history has been preserved and what a feeling to be in the same room that Buddy Holly was in almost 50 years ago! We were on cloud 9 after this. Once the tour was complete, Dave, his wife and 2 other friends and us probably chatted for at least another half hour. What a great, great, great time. I'll have the stories up on a separate web page in a month or so along with the 90+ most excellent photos of this visit that Jeff took.

So, there ain't no 10s, remember? Therefore these last two hours earned an approximate 9.9999 on the Dave-O-Meter scale!

From Clovis we trekked about 400 miles to have a very bad meal at a very bad DQ in Texas and wound up 100 miles later spending the night in a WalMart at Weatherford, OK.

Stranger inside than out

Norman Petty Studios - control room

The Microphone and Celesta (to the right)

Peggy Sue

Dave and Dave

About 100 more photos can be found here.

Mon., Apr. 4 - Drive, drive, drive

On the road again. Buzz through Oklahoma and Missouri. We just entered Iowa, south of Des Moines about 7 PM and found a rest area with wifi access so am typing madly to finish this and get it uploaded tonight. Will probably drive to Iowa City to another WalMart tonight and get back home tomorrow.

Thus ends Dave and Jeff's Most Excellent Adventure. What a great time! This will be one trip neither of us will ever forget.

Thanks to the Red Rock 4 Wheelers for their hard work putting on an event that gets better each year. Thanks to Tom and Jane for their excellent hospitality and great food,. But thanks most of all to Jeff to documented this trip with over 1000 photos and, for almost two weeks, has put up with me and hasn't called me a sonuvabitch yet (at least that I know of!) Thanks, Jeff, for helping to make this one of the most memorable trips - ever!