Tue., April 4: On a long and lonesome highway east of Omaha....

This trip's getting off to a slow start. It's rest area du jour. Seems like I drive 200 miles, find a rest area, take a short nap, and drive another couple hundred, take another nap, etc. Part of this, I'm sure, is that this year I didn't get a chance to fully participate in my " pre-vacation mode " at work. It's been unusually stressful so maybe I'm relaxing. One can always hope.

So sadly, it is true that even before Omaha I pulled into a rest area, allegedly for the night. So much for that plan! Couldn't sleep so moved on to Gretna and fuel at the Flying J. Motored on another 150 or so before trying to find a spot in a Nebraska rest area. Not an easy task given the plethora of 18 wheelers eating up all the spots. Finally found one (kind of) near Kearney and got a 5 hour nap before getting rousted.

Really need to move along anyhow. Some (but not all!) of the timing for leaving when I did was to try and make it over the Rockies and not get caught in the next storm system pushing its way into the great plains.

Ramblings of a bored mind at one of the many rest areas: " What mental genius elected to place '(over)' on the lower right of this 700 lb metal sign bolted to two large poles embedded in concrete that would undoubtedly survive an F5 tornado? "

The Great Nothing, complete with bugs on the windshield. Far ahead is the beginning of the storm in the Rockies.

Approaching Floyd Hill. Yes, those are water spots on the windshield.

Wed., April 5: On a long and lonesome highway west of Omaha....

'Tis a race against time to get to the Rockies and beyond before " the perfect storm " hits. NOAA is predicting 3-8 " of snow and 60 mph winds early tomorrow in the Rockies. They also are predicting hail, tornados and the end of the world for Nebraska tomorrow so once again, perhaps, I've dodged another bullet in my zeal to escape from reality as quickly as possible yesterday.

There was some non-sticking snow around the Eisenhower Tunnel - nothing of significance (yet.) But after driving through the middle tunnel in Glenwood Canyon and exiting on the other side, I was greeted with heavy rain and 60 mph winds for the next 100 miles. Oh my!

But with some expert guidance, was able to plow through the storms and wound up in Fruita around 7 PM with a very dirty motorhome.

Time for a pizza, some vino and relax before tomorrow's long trek to Moab.

A retrospective if I may? Well thank you, I will. Have been through I80, the Great Nothing, the Rockies and I70 more times than I care to count. (Well actually I did count and document the number of times. It's buried in the bowels of this convoluted website and left up to you, as the reader, to figure out where the hell it is!) But I digress, as usual. Been on this route in snow, rain, wind, bitter cold, heat, hail, sun, clouds, moon, idiot drivers, cows, ad nauseam but have never experienced this heavy a rain and high wind this far west. Now Nebraska is another story.

Thu., April 6: Moab by 11, drunk by 2.

After being rousted for a second morning, headed out of Fruita and without incident arrived in Moab 2 hours later. Spent the next hour cleaning a significant portion of Colorado off the motorhome at a very strange car wash - but that's another story for later - much later - perhaps a beer drinkin' story!

Pulled into Canyonlands only to find Paul and Aggie no longer own it. Bummer. The new owners seem nice, although prices are higher. Surprise! They do have wifi and after beating my laptop's driver into submission, it now works. That makes it much easier to upload this drivel. (Good for me, bad for those of you who unfortunately read said drivel.)

5 minutes after setting up, Gray Fox stopped by (no rest for the wicked) and we chatted for a while and griped about the raise in prices at the campground (but they have wifi now!) After he left, about 1PM I elected to cruise the main drag, see whom I could see, see what had changed, and then get a bite to eat. Didn't even make it to the end of town before someone behind me started blinking their headlights at me. " Oh shit, did I run over someone crossing the street? " Turns out it was Dieter, Stefan and Rolf, part of the crew from Liechtenstein.

Dieter is in a good mood. Last week someone stole his Jeep. They found it a couple days ago in the Junction. He went there yesterday to claim the remains and found it to be mostly intact sans CB radio and a few tools. He was ecstatic. So what does one do when one sees good friends who are in a good mood? One goes to Moab Brewery to celebrate the intact remains of his CJ-7. Need I say more? So here I am, 6 PM, trying to sober up - but duty calls again. Dieter and crew will be here shortly so we can go out for supper. " Ve vill drink a lot of beer und celebrate tonight, ya? " Life can be good sometimes.

Did I mention that after the beer I went to Pete & Co. to get my annual haircut in Moab? Oh NO! It's now Bev's Salon or something like that. I sadly entered to ask what happened to Pete and was pleased to find he was in a corner still cutting hair. He retired, sold his business to Bev or whomever but still works there a couple days a week. I got a great haircut, beard trim, ear trim, eyebrow trim, had a great visit with him and came away itchy, and 20 lbs lighter. After a long, hot shower (yes Virginia, there IS city water in Moab) was going to take a nap but then started this instead. This is enough to make anyone sober.

Fri., April 7: A relaxing day doing nothing

So we had Mexican last night and to my horror found that Rolf and Stefan have never had a Margarita. That problem was quickly solved. It was quite entertaining to watch as the Mexican waiter (who knew little English) tried to communicate with the Liechtenstein crew (who knew even less Spanish.) A good time was had by all. The crew came over afterwards for a few Warsteiners while Dieter sent email (thanks to this wonderful wifi here) to a number of folks thanking them for their efforts to help locate his Jeep. Most enjoyable were some of the German MP3s that were played. They were much impressed - except for Stefan who fell asleep. Damn Margaritas.

Got rousted for a fourth day in a row this morning. LaSal Dave stopped by and we chatted while he waited for some machining to be done for his Jeep. After breakfast at the Moab Diner we headed up to Hell's Revenge to see if the DamJP would work. It did. After a couple photo ops at Lion's Back, Dave took his parts and went home and I bummed around the rest of the day doing very little - but it was very nice.

Now it's 5 PM and am being entertained as folks are pulling in with their big motorhomes and having one hell of a time trying to get them situated and parked. An Illinoisan pulled in and it will be entertaining to watch as he operates his slide out and it rams into the tree next to his coach. Another guy didn't like the flora and fauna and was up on the roof of his coach with a saw cutting of branches of a tree. The campground staff was not nearly as entertained as I.

Tomorrow I gun with LaSal Dave, Steve, and Jim (a friend from California we met over 10 years ago on Behind the Rocks) on Metal Masher. And the weather is excellent - 75- 80 ° . Let the fun begin! YES!!!!

Sat., April 8: Metal Masher and an 8 Hour " shift " at McStiff's

I better write something. It's almost 4 days since the last update. Things are hectic here. Wheelin' during the day (usually up at 6 AM to get ready for the day's adventure) and then replenishment of bodily fluids in the late afternoon and evening. This is a terribly dirty job but someone must take one for the team and do it!

Today was Metal Masher. No great shakes. It was a fun trail with 11 of us, mostly Red Rock 4 Wheelers and trail officials. Our lunch spot was spectacular. On the way back we stopped at Gemini Bridges - a very unusual dual natural bridge. Took lots of photos but can't put them all up here. Got back at 3 PM, just in time for an ATB (After Trail Beer) as Dieter proclaimed.

Sun., April 9: Pre-Run Rose Garden with Dieter

Another long day, in more ways than one! Dieter is to lead it tomorrow and wanted to give it a try today so he'd be well versed in the ups and downs of the trail. He also promised me 1 beer per hour (after the run) for helping him pre-run it. Clint's group was able to join us after getting some of their camp set up (but not necessarily all of it.) Priorities, don'tcha know! Other than being tired, I seemed to be in about the same shape I'm always in.

After the 30 mile drive to the trail head, we successfully negotiated Rose Garden. Clint cooked a gourmet meal of hot dogs at the top of Rose Garden and then we elected to do a Kodak moment at Top of the World, another trail about 15 miles away.

The trail to Top of the World is one rocky and rough SOB, but not difficult. At the beginning of the trail we saw a 4WD VW camper van, complete with armor plated LP tanks limp down and out. They were on the official Top of the World trail that day, much to the other leader's chagrin. Fortunately they broke on the first obstacle. You see the strangest things out here.

After an hour of intense beating on the rocky road to the top, we all made it. One can drive out on a 15-20' rock outcropping and get a heck of a photo. It's about 1500' straight down from there.

Rose Garden and Clint in the ascent.

This place is one of the few that give me the willies. I can get, maybe, 10' from the edge with the DamJP. Dieter - well, Dieter just drove his right out there and parked with the front wheel about 12 " from the edge. Holy s**t! We all had a great time as we spent the next hour or so moving Jeeps around, getting photos and laughing at my unwillingness to live life a little more on the edge. The scenery was fantastic - lots of photos but limited space here.

The ride down was as bumpy as the ride up. Then it was another 30 miles back to town. I was so tired and ached so bad from the bumpy ride that I went straight back to the camper, ordered a pizza had 1 beer and a ketoprofen and went to bed. Tough night. That trail did me in and the next day, I lead Behind the Rocks. Fortunately the next morning I felt a little better but still downed a couple prednisone tablets and even put on my back brace for some of the day (for the first time in probably 10 years!) Yeah, it was that bumpy yesterday. Later I also realized that one reason I may have felt so bad last night is that I didn't drink enough water during the trail. Life is tough.

Mon. April 10: Behind the Rocks

So with my back brace on (which fit somewhat more snugly than it did the last time it was wrapped around my fat belly) we gathered the group I was was to lead on the trail. Jim and Bob were my gunners. Larry, another Red Rock 4 Wheeler came along on this trip to pre-run it for his turn later in the week. Larry, Jim and Bob helped make this one of the smoothest runs I've led - ever! And that was with 47 vehicles on the trail. Thanks guys - could not have done this trail so well with without your expert help!

High Dive was uneventful. Upchuck wasn't. After the guy in the red Jeep stood it on end twice, his wife bailed from the vehicle like she had a rocket up her a**. Now that was funny!

Even Clint needed a little tug to get up this obstacle. Except for another vehicle that snapped a rear axle (and replaced on the trail) the rest of the group did great!

We finally arrived at White Knuckle, a very steep downward hill. After Clint went through, he bulldozed away a lot of the rocks at the far right side of the bottom but leaving some on the left side of the hill. Now when folks came down the very steep incline there was little to offset the dip at the bottom on their right side. This cool trail improvement resulted in most all catching some air on their left rear tire as they hit the bottom. After some folks got a couple feet of air, many then chose a strap on the back end to keep them from standing on end. This was in lieu of restacking the rocks which would have provided much less entertainment.

We had a great time with this trail improvement, except for Steve, one of the guys with Clint. Steve was less than happy with this obstacle, hence the reason he figures so prominently on this web page. See what you get for whining about it!

When Clint came down, he broke off his Hi-Lift jack from the back of his Cherokee. No big deal. When Dallas came down, he tore off one of his spare gas cans and pretty well demolished it. Great entertainment guys, thanks!

Dallas and his errant gas can after his graceful exit at the bottom of White Knuckle. Notice the rocks in the foreground. In the back, on the right side of the hill coming down, there is a noticeable absence of rocks which caused some tippiness and much tasting of seat cushions.

Tue. April 11: Moab Rim

Morning came too quickly and I was too doggone " tired. " But by 8 AM felt better and decided to run the Rim anyhow as a participant instead of a leader or helper. Duh! I worked harder on this trail as an alleged participant than on Behind the Rocks yesterday as a leader: 2 roll overs and a driveshaft ripped from the rear differential (and I mean ripped!)

First a roll over even before the " Z " obstacle on the trail. This one did a full roll, landed on the rubber and then completed the rest of the trail. (Sound familiar?) Then another guy thought he was the Easter bunny and hopped on the " Z " until he ripped the driveshaft right out of the differential yoke. Ooops! Sent him back to town with only front wheel drive.

Then a Toyota pickup truck decided to go for a bath in one of the slick rock tubs and wound up almost belly up - and several cylinders with enough oil in them to keep the engine from cranking. That took time to clean out. Then our trail leader took a wrong turn. Then our trail leader needed some help over some of the obstacles. Then Rolf's Jeep overheated so I gave him 2 gallons of water to get him off the rim.

Tough day requiring a lot of unexpected work on my part to help out. But hey, a bad day wheelin' beats a good day at work. (And it really wasn't that bad - it was a lot of fun!) And just look at the scenery!

Can it get better than this? YES! We had a great meal of baked potatoes, T-bone steaks, grilled asparagus (which later that night reminded me why I don't like green stuff) and, of course, the cobbler - mixed with Sprite as that's what was available. Steve and a few others were not pleased that after an afternoon of beer, Jagermeister and muscatel there was no ice cream to go with the cobbler. Off to the ice cream place. Back with 1/2 gallon of ice cream for the Sprite flavored cobbler served with beer and ice cream.

And once all had their fill, what does one do with the remains of the 1/2 gallon of ice cream? Well, one tosses it into the roaring fire. I quickly made the acute observation that ice cream is definitely not flammable. And so went the rest of the night. You can only imagine!

Wed. April 12: An unofficial run on Strike Ravine

Clint and Dieter and their respective groups joined me on Strike Ravine. We had such a good time! Not much to say - all went well. We played on many of the options and still got back by 4 PM.

So as I air up, no air will go into the right rear. Turns out the value stem was really bent. No idea how that could possibly happen. So run down to the parts store, get another value stem. Cut the old one out and force the new one into its place. PITA. As I'm doing this, Jeff drives by. He made it about 12 hours early. This will make tomorrow's planning much easier.

So after the tire fix, went up for the Red Rock 4 Wheeler Associate's dinner and came back to finally get this blog caught up to date!

Thu. April 13: Hell's Revenge

Now that Jeff has arrived for a week, I'm off photo duty as he takes the pictures from a while. Today's trail was great - no incidents, just a lot of fun. Weather so far has been wonderful. Highs in the 80s, lows in the 50s. Too bad I keep forgetting to apply sun protection location. While I like food well done, I personally prefer myself to be slightly less done.

On the way back from the trail, we went through a sandy area where they want to build about 150 homes. In a few years the exit of this trail will be kaput and the whole trail may be gone as a result. Progress is not always good.

Made a quick stop at Potato Salad Hill. Hundreds of kids were in the peanut gallery and a few were trying to negotiate the hill. Didn't see any roll overs but we only stayed about 20 minutes.

From there, back to the motorhome where Jeff wanted to chill after his drive out here so I headed out to Camp Omaha for a few minutes. I needed to rest up also for leading Poison Spider the next day. But, as usual, got to Camp Omaha and wound up staying for supper - a most excellent shrimp boil and good assortment of adult beverages personally delivered to the Camp by some of the locals who were showing their appreciation to folks that come in for the Safari. Still, I had to leave early to prepare for the trail tomorrow but happened to run across Dieter at The Brewery and, of course, had to be sociable!

But before leaving, saw the most beautiful moon rise over the LaSals from the excellent vantage point at Camp Omaha. The moon came up as some high clouds were over the LaSals. I should have taken a photo but that's now Jeff's job - he was at the motorhome and I was at Camp Omaha. Oh well, will just have to keep coming back until such a spectacle presents itself again.

Safari week is so tough!

Fri. April 14: Leading Poison Spider

Another great day that started with low expectations and ended well. 6:30 AM, picked up my roster of participants and was horrified to see 60 people signed up. Oh my! But once we got to the meeting point and finally left, only ~45 actually showed up. Paul and PJ (from Wipe Out Hill on previous years) were the most excellent gunners. What a pleasure to work with them!

We got to the trail head where a BLM Ranger, from Vernal of all places, was " guarding " the entrance and only allowing our group access to the trail. This was per BLM agreement this year. There are always too many drunk kids trying to get on this, and other trails, and this was one of their solutions - provide reserved access for our official trails (which the Red Rock Four Wheelers have always paid the BLM a LOT of money for use of the trails.) This arrangement worked well until the Ranger left about noon. I had a nice chat with him as we aired down. The BLM folks in the field are very nice but, like any other company, the folks much higher up the food chain are the ones that seem to be out of touch with reality. Noon, for example, was a bad time to leave. The kids are just sobering up and ready to hit it again for the day.

So we started without incident. That didn't last long. Way before the first real obstacle, the driver of a Dodge RAM didn't listen, took a wrong line and broke. This was the earliest I've ever seen anyone break on a trail! Then, even before the waterfalls, we had another cluster of breakage and that group of 10 elected to return. This worked out well as the potential group of 60 was now reduced to about 35 - which is just the right size group for this trail.

Since there was time, I spotted folks through the Wedgie and into a little dip where most of them got 1 - 3' of air. Just before the Wedgie, much to our surprise, sat Stefan's Jeep off to the side. Dieter & Co. did a 5 AM moonlight run on the Spike (one needs to traverse some of Poison Spider to get to the Spike) and Stefan's Jeep broke just before the Wedgie. They left it there to return with parts later in the day. At the " debriefing " at the Brewery later in the day, Dieter said their partially moonlight run was great and, as usual, Louis walked most of the way - barefoot. Go figure......

We had a great time the rest of the day with minimal breakage. About the worst was someone's shock falling off. " We don' need no steenkin' shocks! "

At lunch, on a high slickrock dome with a beautiful arch as backdrop, we called an unusual driver's meeting. It was then we sang Happy Birthday to Paul, our tailgunner who will turn 50 Saturday. We managed to totally embarrass him. It was great!

On the way back, we encountered another BLM Ranger who had pulled over some kids from Kalifornia who got on the trail after the other Ranger left. As I pulled up to talk to the Ranger, the conversation between the Ranger and kids went something like this: " Dude! " as the driver said to the Ranger, " We were only drinking high energy drinks, dude. " (Now that sets a bad precedent right off the bat, at the least they could have said " Mr. Ranger, dude " or " Dude, sir! " ) Then they proceeded to tell him they may have had a beer but their didn't know when. Maybe for breakfast, maybe for lunch --- " dude. " As we left, the BLM Ranger was tearing apart their Jeep looking for alcohol and he might have even found a controlled substance or two. Mighty entertaining but I'm glad they are finally cracking down, so to speak.

As we got off the trail, a 5 minute dust storm came up. It was so bad one could not even see the trail. I was standing outside, 1 car away from the DamJP and couldn't even see Jeff or the Jeep. The rest of the group had to stop as they couldn't even see the road.

So back down off the trail and out to the Arena to see the hundreds and hundreds of vendor displays. After an hour there, headed back for food and then to the Brewery where we met up with the Omaha folks (who will be leaving tomorrow) and most of the Liechtenstein group (the others were still trying to retrieve Stefan's rig.)

Much beer, much laughter, much fun. Jeez, I love Safari week!

Sat. April 15: Big Saturday - a " Free " Day

This year I elected to stay back from Big Saturday and see what goes on on town instead. It just doesn't feel right. Won't do this again. 1600 Jeeps leaving town for trails in a record 15 minutes. In 12 or more years, have not missed a Big Saturday run but thought it might be nice to have a day off. So here I am, doing this instead of having fun...... aw screw it! The clouds are gone, the sun is out, the sky is blue - what am I doing in here???? Jeff and I are otta of here!

So much happening, so little time, so little memory left - and I'm NOT talking about bits! Since this is a day of doing things never done before, the first stop was Potato Salad from across the creek. Well ...... it's about a mile in on a two lane road. But then vehicles are parked on both sides of the road and it becomes a one lane. We got in, parked and got some photos. When people climb the hill successfully, there was little cheering and many comments such as " boring! " The hundreds and hundreds of people there were out for broken parts and what not. When someone finally did break, a loud cheer went up that echoed from the canyon walls. I can only imagine had someone rolled or been injured. It was a strange bunch of people waiting for the next victim. Buzzards hovering over an injured animal comes to mind - - but it's fun, though!

Then as we left the cluster began. More people are coming in than the small parking lot at the end of said one mile road can hold. So people want to get out since there's no place to park. But they can't get out because more people are coming in on the now one-lane road in and out ---- excuse me ---- in! More and more people were flocking in, big time. This truly would become " a problem of biblical proportions " within minutes. We got the heck otta there while the gettin' was good! Whew. Dodged that bullet by only a few minutes at the most.

So next we decide to to to the Rock Crawling Competition near the end of Strike Ravine, about 15 miles south of town. DUH! Exactly the same problem except this time we were 4 miles away when the cluster began What's bigger than " a problem of biblical proportions? "

Back to the campground. Jeff was trying to get his drivers for his laptop DVD working so he could write more bits and pieces. I motored around, in awe at the gorgeous scenery, when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but Dieter on his way to his garage. I followed him there and within seconds we decided to have an ATB (After Trail Beer) at McStiff's. Back to pick up Jeff and off to McStiff's. Now you know you've made an impression when you walk in and immediately a waitress in the other side of the dining room recognizes you! " Hi Dave! " proclaimed Andi. So after a short chat we moved outside to sit and have an ATB when Katrina comes up and says " Hi Dave! " I guess the 8 hour shift with Dieter and later with Clint & Co. left and indelible image with them.

Dieter relayed his story of gunning on Strike Ravine today. When we ran it the other day, part of the rationale was to help Dieter since he was one of the gunners. As we ran it the other day, Dieter was busy entering the information in his Palm Pilot, which he used successfully today.

So a side note from Wednesday. Dieter and I are watching someone try to do Upper Helldorado and having a very, very bad time. Wrong line city. Dieter and I started bets on whether or not he'd break or roll over before the end of the 1/4 mile trail. We were laughing about that when Dieter said, 'You know, ve're a couple ov a**holes! " to which I replied " And your point? "

And tonight Larry and his kids stopped by to say goodbye. He's the one who helped so much on Behind the Rocks. They had a helluva time yesterday when he led it but they survived. They got back at 8:15! Again, the experience of pre-running the other day made a big, difference - and we had so much fun doing it. Moab and the friends I know here are so much fun! Love it!

Tomorrow is another day and plans are to do a 120 mile trip down to the Needles via Lockhart Basin. From there, maybe to the Maze. Need to do some grocery shopping tonight.

Easter Sunday, April 16: Spring Break

The estimated 120 miles turned into 174 and a 12 hour trail trip, although 2 hours were on the highway at 65 mph in the DamJP. That's more scary than Moab Rim! And I only made a wrong turn once ---- well twice ------ OK, three times but the last one didn't count since we didn't have to turn around. It was a very good day.

Lockhart Basin started rocky and fun. Then we had a long scenic stretch. About 3/4 of the way through we stopped to helped a motorcycle guy that wiped out and put a 1 " gash in his inner tube. He used a few of our tools and some of our air and he was on the way. Another deed done good!

About the same time I started to look and see why at each little dip we were bottoming out. Turns out, the rear main leaf spring on the driver's side broke in half. What to do? We made it this far - screw it - we're not going to let a minor failure like a broken leaf spring stop us ----- yet. Fortunately the shackle held it in place and we completed the entire rest of the trip, complete with some fairly substantial wheeling, with the broken leaf. I guess a trip to the Junction is in our future for tomorrow to get a new leaf.

We arrived at the Needles Outpost about 2 PM for some $3.85/gal fuel then headed to Elephant Hill and eventually " the " confluence of the Green and Colorado Rivers, after taking Dave's scenic loop.

After the confluence we negotiated Elephant Hill again and then aired up in the parking lot. That's when I noticed the left rear motor mount was essentially gone. Oh my. What to do? We made it this far - screw it - we're not going to let a minor failure like a broken motor mount stop us ----- yet. And it didn't!

Several hours later, with some very high speed highway driving, we made it back to the camp. I registered for another night (there goes plan A for Monday) and went to Zak's for way too much pizza and way too little beer. Damn!

And no, we did NOT run over the idiot greenies who were hiking on the Confluence road and wouldn't move for us nor even say " Hi. "

Tomorrow will be a day of acquiring parts and then repairs. We'll see what gives from here.

Spring Break in Utah

" The " Confluence "

On the way back from the Confluence. The LaSals!

As usual, I've blathered on too much (again) and placed more photos than ever on these pages so will split this into two addtional parts: After Moab - I and After Moab - II .